05 May, 2008

Sorry for the break!

I remember this ‘Sorry for the break’ slide which was shown quite often, in those days when Doordarshan had just started. I knew I was away from blogging for quite long. Earlier I used to at least read other blogs. But recently I could not even do it regularly. I have been undergoing too many things from last December. One after another, there had been few blows personally. My aged mother fell sick on Christmas day. That shook me a lot. I had never seen her falling sick, like that, in my life. She was losing conscious, confidence and started blabbering. She was bedridden and I had to perform nursing duties in the night. She felt embarrassed and I just realized how many nights she would have done those to me and my sisters, as a mother. It was just for two days, but I could not take it easily. Finally it was diagnosed as a Virus which swept the country.

The New Year came and it has not been very good with me so far. The only good thing that has been keeping me cheerful and happy is the senior school classmates group which was formed recently. It is such a wonderful thing and mails from my old friends who studied with me from 6th standard to 12th standard have been a great source of renewed happiness. The unity is shaping up very well and we could establish contacts with more than 40 of our old classmates who studied together 30 years before. Some of my friends in Chennai were kind enough to organize a get together recently. We decided to honour our old teachers. We planned it very well and took lots of photos and video as well. I became very emotional on seeing my old teachers in the video. Most of them spoke high about us, and said that nobody had hosted a meeting like that. Some teachers were old and I could not believe it. Some teachers were emotional and their voice choked during their speeches. The oldest teacher was 78 and her hands were trembling. Our best teacher too became emotional during his speech and said that he was happy to see that they have achieved, for what they worked. I could only envy my teachers. What a noble profession it is! I am sure that teaching is one of the jobs, which could give a great satisfaction.

Of late, I have been finding that the life around me is getting more mechanical. It looks like the world is heading somewhere. I hardly find people who are relaxed. Even if I want to be cool and relaxed, the entire society around is pushing us towards something. I could see this like a race.

The other day I took a break from work and walked towards a canal. I walked many miles on a sunny day and found few more (handful) like me. I stopped here and there to have a chat. Few did greet back, and few were on their own. But I understood that there are people like me too. Beautiful streak of light passing through thick forest, and reflecting on that water was a great treat for my eyes. Again, there were only few to enjoy the scenery. While walking I found an Over bridge and the sound of traffic was driving me mad. I just thought for a moment how life is contradictory on each side. Life under the bridge had a beautiful canal which took us to a different world than the life above the bridge. I started walking further until I became tired. I thought I should visit another day with a camera.

A long walk like this on the bank of a canal, surrounded by tall trees and green bushes gives so much of happiness. I think wherever we live; there must be two kinds of places. Take a break from the normal routine from everything and have a long walk. It is a great relief for the stressful life. At one particular spot, I saw a beautiful lush green play field and a footballer on his own running and kicking the ball. I stood behind a tree and watched him for few minutes. He went on and on without stopping. It looked as though he was angry with the ball. It was fun to see the ball and the players’ leg in constant touch.

Though it was tempting, due to the sudden change in weather condition I had to rush back. Even after coming home, I was remaining silent. My family was wondering!

It would have been different if I had taken them too. I am sure I would have enjoyed with my family but I would not have been able to observe that much. I think being solitude for few minutes everyday, will help everyone.

The reality is it is difficult to be alone! It is mad, mad, world.. And it is driving us fast. Where are we heading to?