Maternal Uncles

Relationships are very important in man’s life. In Indian culture, maternal uncle relationship is something which binds a woman‘s family side and her in-laws side. Out of all the relationships this is the one which had attracted me a lot. A man has so many roles to play and what a great role it is to be an Uncle!

From my childhood I was very impressed by the Maternal Uncle roles. Luckily I have four maternal uncles. My mother was born with four sisters and four brothers. I would say their family is very lucky to have men like my uncles. They all have done great help to their sister’s families a lot.

Of course, my father too had brothers and they were of great help too. But this post I am dedicating it to all maternal uncles. My mom had a great maternal uncle and he was lovingly called as ‘Ram Mama’ by everyone. As far as I know, he was there in Central station to receive each and everyone of my relative who arrived to Chennai in those days. He trained me how to receive people. In those years say 70 or 80 years before, I was told the boys married their own nieces in India. Marriages within relationships were held, in order to create a binding among the relatives and distribute their wealth among them. Ram Mama was one among those men. My uncles must have been inspired by their maternal uncle and they happened to be very good in their role.

All my four uncles were great persons. I am lucky to have two of them still alive. My eldest one who is lovingly called as ‘AKD’ is above 90 and the second one lovingly called as ‘Venu Mama’ celebrated his 80th birthday last year. Two other uncles are no more. They were lovingly called as ‘Sesha Mama’ and ‘Kitchu Mama’. But I owe plenty of qualities I have achieved today to all my maternal uncles and other elders of my family.

I do not have words to describe their love towards their sisters. Their wives were never on their way, when my uncles cared for their sisters. This is a quality which women of younger generation should pick up from their seniors. One of my aunt who was issue less was widowed 30 years before and she is still taken care by ‘Venu Mama’ who himself has crossed 80 and his sister i.e., my aunt is above 85.

Girls get married and leave their parents to start their new life with an unknown family, or a little known man. After this, it is the brother who acts as a new way of communication to his sister and her family in our tradition. The brother carries gifts now and then to show that they still care and love their sister. Again they help her when she is in distress and share her joy and sorrow. I doubt whether many of us are able to do this in today’s world. I know at least few of my friends who try to keep up the tradition.

My uncles had never left our family in distress. In 1974 when my father expired suddenly it appeared as though none of my uncles will be able to participate in the funeral. But still ‘Venu Mama’ air dashed from Pune (comparing to all those air travel facilities in those days in India and the cost). I still remember that I was about to set the pyre on my father’s body and relatives requested to wait for few minutes, and there was this sigh of relief when we could see the white ambassador (MSL 2197..I think) approaching the burial ground. There my uncle stepped out to console our family and to represent my mother’s parents (who were not alive then).

Women should feel proud about their brothers who turn out to be good maternal uncles. Men should equally understand the responsibility and many culture and ethics are based upon the relationships in Indian traditions. My other uncles who are no more had done equally a lot of help to all our relatives and I am really proud of them. I have learnt a lot from my uncles and trying my best to keep my nieces and nephews in good spirits. I still doubt whether I could be like my uncles.

No wonder my mom who is in her late 70’s was talking about them last night and it brings smiles on her face whenever we talk about her brothers.

I thought this is something we have to learn.