19 February, 2006

Who am I ?

My daughter loves admiring herself in the mirror. I like to observe her actions. She whispers to herself while seeing the mirror. I have hardly heard anything. Never wanted to show more attention fearing her privacy may be disturbed and I may stop her from her imagination. At times, I used to wonder whether she thinks like me.

When I was young I loved seeing myself in the mirror. Especially during teenage years, wondering over the growth of moustache and pimples. One day I concentrated on the image so much for such a long time, I started wondering about myself. A question came to my mind. Who am I? From where I have come into this world. Did I exist before I came to this earth. If so, should I have to know where I was. Will I exist for ever? Is this true....? No it is not. Again, all started from the mirror. Sometimes it is scary. But the truth is we need to discover. Finally, if you could think more, we realise we are just meaningless. We are a big zero. We go where we came from. We never knew where we came from and we go to a place where we do not know?

Then, what do we do during our existence? Why did we come particularly to this planet? When our existence is just temporary, what is all this about? Why hatred among us? Why all this differences between us? Why colour, race, sex, age, language discrimination? Even today I keep questioning for those mysterious things in life. I try to read many books and slowly acquire a bit of knowledge. Again, do not want to rely on those acquired knowledge. I want to search... But ashamed to know that as human beings we are so complexed.

Deep thinking gives few sense. This thought, helps me to behave a bit matured. But I cannot claim that I am matured. Sometimes I behave immatured. Every human being is complexed. We hardly understand each other. We lack in communication. We do not understand everyone. We also do not make others understand. We develop a gap in communication. This divides human beings. This spoils the relations. We develop a complex and hardly get along well with our own family. We keep away. We give place to ego and ruin our life by not talking to our own family people. After all life is too short to keep worrying. Most of us think about the past and feel for the happenings. I read last week somewhere that experience is like a comb you get once you are bald.

So, nowadays I encourage my kids to keep looking at the mirror. When I go to work and work with computers, I smile when I type this command in Unix, 'Who am I'.

The picture in this blog was taken in St. James Park near Buckingham Palace, when I wondered at those huge trees planted in line, by some King... IV or V.... whoever it was.


வேதா said...

This question comes to my mind too. what is this "I", is it the body, the soul or both? The great Ramana Maharishi attained his enlightment when he searched the answer for this question. the search is endless and it is achieved only by great saints. everything in this world is made up of molecules, so if this "I" is our body, then after we die, when the body is cremated, the molecules dont get destroyed, they mix with the air, does that mean we live after death? it means that only the body can die, not the soul? this is what our sages have said centuries ago, "AATMA AZHIVATRTHU". so "I" is our aatma, the soul, the conscience.

susubala said...

Hai, lovely picture it is ! I really admire ur girl, why cant u post ur fly photograph in this for all of us.

You've come out so nicely with the expressions of ur own ! Hope that everyone come across this phase and me too experienced looking at the mirror and the wavering mind gets into lots of things, just by sitting in front of the mirror. Unique but sincere thoughts !

Barbienan said...

very true balaji..infact i was thinking something like this what happens if the person we love leaves me and go away soon.in the name of death. A little fear came into my mind. Then this existence and this uncertainity in everything gave me the courage. So just enjoy the day which is present and not to think about how, where , when and why's.. Only the EXISTENCE that keeps me happy. coz i know what is present and i realise it and understand it.

Jeevan said...

Now a days i also see me on the mirror many times. when i was alone, i used to think about meand wonder about human beings, if we born as a cow how we feel about living in this world. we dont know where our life goes after we dead.

your photos are very beautiful.

Jo said...

Looks like it happened with everyone. I can relate to the part when you said about the moustache and stuff. :-)

Dubukku said...

Enna Balaji
Whats life? Who Am I??

self realisation phase aa? just kidding. You have brought your thoughts beautifully :)

Photography classes ethavathu edunga sir enakkum

WA said...

Amazing picture, beautiful.

visithra said...

love the photo - dont think anyones a zero but part of huge calculation? ;)

Hiren said...

You have raised a very intersting issue but I wonder if mirror is where the solution lies. "Know thyself" primarily implies to know what your potential or talent is so that a majority of your waking hours go well. Some people spend a lifetime without knowing this.

Balaji S Rajan said...

Veda- Thanks for your explanation about Aatma. Quite simple to understand. Life will be great if everyone remembers it.

Susubala- I think time will come to publish our family photograph.

barbienan- True. We need to be happy, content, with the day in hand.

Jeevan - Many of us think the same.

Jo- Thanks. Glad to know that you too had similar thoughts.

Dubukku - Please come with your camera to my house when you visit us. I shall give you tips of what ever I know.

Wicked Angel - Thanks. That is my hobby.

Visithra - Thanks. You may be right.

Hiren - I agree that somepeople spend a time without knowing this.