09 February, 2006

What is Life?

While I was walking beside a pond, near my house I stopped to look at those beautiful birds. There used to be Storks, swans and ducks too. They wait for the children to come and throw feed at them. It is a beautiful scene to watch them. Some of the brisky ones quickly catch them. The lazy ones or the less brisky ones have to wait until the first one gets tired. The one in this particular picture made me to think. It was posing as if conveying a message to me. If you see well, it looks like a question mark. I was alone with my Nikon and this made me to think. Just before taking the picture, I was thinking about life. Now adding the question mark what is life?
Oh...what a beautiful coincidence.

Just thinking back, I wonder how life keeps moving. What do we achieve? Our life is almost like those birds. If you are smart you could get it and if you are a bit dull you are deprived of everything. Is being dull, or born dull, your mistake? Disparities...... a lot of them exist everywhere. I wish I remained a child. I never knew anything. That is why I love children. They are so kiddish.

Let us first start from disparity among sex. I feel still women are lacking in so many things in our country. We may proudly say that equality is being maintained everywhere. But the percentage is not that much. As far as I know a major chunk after doing very well in their school and college, get married soon. What is happening to that women's education? What is she doing with that. The conservative parents may say, it was their responsibility to get her married. But do they think only marriage will give those women everything. I feel women are their own enemies. We have plenty of women who feel sympathy for other women. First that should be stopped. I have seen that happening around. There was a lady near my house who was very energetic and wanted to use her education to bring up her children, and financially support her husband. The ladies in their family used to pity her.

"Oh..poor woman ...I feel pity for her. She had to go so early to work. She works hard...". I knew few women who did not want to be pitied. Once it so happened that my wife had to fly alone with our kids from Madras. Almost everyone known to me were pitying her and passing comments about me. It so happened that I was tied up with my work. My wife also preferred to experience everything by travelling alone. Most of the women folks, started feeling about it. What is there to feel? Please leave them.

Again most of the mothers spoil their daughters. They never understand that their age is different to their daughters. They try to instill the age old techniques to their daughters. They need to understand that their daughters are of today's world. They know how to face. Even if today's women want to be on their own, our so called society starts talking about her and pitying her.

I must mention about this experience in my life. I happened to go along with my relative to his friend's house. He did not want to explain in detail about this lady's background but said that I must see this lady and her family. As soon as I entered she welcomed us with a great smile. I could never forget it in my life. There were two boys one was sitting in the sofa aged around 14 or 15, and another 8 or 9 running around and welcomed us. Within few seconds I realised that the elder boy was a special child. The lady after enquiring my relative's family, went into the kitchen to prepare coffee for us. During the conversation I was shocked to hear that she was a widow. She had lost her husband just recently due to Cancer. After few minutes the younger boy, came towards me and started talking about his school. He said that he does not like the school because they are not allowed to laugh. On hearing this, I started laughing. He said that he liked watching birds, and their activities. Looking at the boy's intelligence I asked him which year he was studying. He told me something, for which I showed some surprise.

He asked me back " Uncle ... Don't I look that big? I know I am not grown for my age... It is because of this..."

He started removing his shirt. He showed a big scar on his chest. He continued "Uncle... my heart was small and so I did not grow. Now they have operated my heart...and heart has started growing... again I will also grow..".

I looked at that lady again. She acknowledged with a smile. I could not believe this. Having lost her husband, and having a special elder son, and the next one having had a open heart surgery at the age of 9, how could she smile always. She said that she did not want to go and live with her parents, since they were in a village, and she may not get the facilities that she has for her special child. Also, she did not want to be a burden for aged parents. She was totally on her own, with her colleagues support. I adored her. Even today if any woman talk about their petty problems, I tell them about this brave hearted woman who has been living with so many problems and cheer them up to live like this lady.

Though this incident happened a decade ago, I remember her today and salute such young women who are leading their life in a normal manner. Please appreciate such people for their courage.


வேதா said...

so life appears to be a question mark?, when we realise that the solution lies in us, we can live life to the fullest.
u are right abt womens' place in society. though we women are well educated, most of the parents think that the ultimate goal for a woman is marriage, well settled and thus a free of burden to the parents. but surely the younger generation, which is us still get along with this . women are emotionally more matured and strong than men(its my opinion),
u can find women struggling to meet their ends along with a family with no support from their husbands. its more evident in middle class and lower middle class families. women tend to maintain their balance with work and family together and it can be done only by women alone. see i am not blaming all the males, but i think women need more support from men.
u have said that women are their own enemies. its jus an illusion created by this world. see for generation and generations women were slaved by men. so when we try to cross our so called limits, older women tend to stop us, that doesnt mean they are enemies, it shows the fact that being not prone to outer world, they have been brought up with the idea that men are greater than women. so we the women of this generation understand that and we wont let pass that illusion to our next generation.

Jeevan said...

Our society should change, when our people saw a widow or a disable person on the road they used tell some thing about them, these will disappoint them so we should avoid these and should talk about encouraging them. My sister (cousin) how is a widow; she was just 25 year old, she studied only 10std when she was married, after my uncle died, she dint get worry and sat on the corner. He like to read higher studied, and joined in a school and finished her 12th std and get good marks in her board exam and got seat in a collage and studied B.com, and now working as a teacher, in a school near Chennai. I am very proud to get a sister like her, recently she got a best teacher award for the School Corresponded. Our Tamil Nadu Chief Minister Jayalalaithaa is a good example for women’s, who are ready to achieve some thing in their life. The photo and it’s explained are very good.

arvindh said...

Very beautiful picture and interesting write-up!

smiley said...

You are absolutely right. Women should be encouraged and appreciated

REFLEX said...

No comments. Feeling heavy hearted now. Women shud stand up on their won without asking for any reservations and they can do that.

Barbienan said...

hi just popped in your blog and what a wonderful article about life. The question which I ask myself everyday in this central european country. I want to be in politics or into media meet peoople explain the strengh of this society make changes but i know something holds me back. One way i feel proud to be successful as like reflex said "Women shud stand up on their won without asking for any reservations and they can do that." and I did that. Here I am succesful. Good thoughts

Anonymous said...

intresting :-)


Balaji S Rajan said...

Veda - I agree with you. What I meant is some women who know the basic problems of a woman, still keep the morale of other woman low by discouraging in their activities. I hate pitying...especially... Pavam ava Pombalai kinda dialog which I feel should be avoided. When we talk of women's equal right, these kind of talks discourage even courageous women. I agree women were slaved by men and it is still going in millions of families in many countries. I am happy that women like you of this generation trying to arrest the illusion. Please educate our older women too.

Jeevan - I salute your cousin's courage. Yes... we men should encourage such women and help them to build their confidence. I agree with you about certain personalities being women and shining in many fields.

Arvindh - Thanks... and you have great hands too.

Smiley - Thanks.

Reflex - I know you will like this post. Thanks.

Barbienan- I agree and am happy that you like the thoughts. I like women who are courageous.

Nithya - Thanks for your comments.